I would like to point out how blessed I am. People tell me I am confident and am a free spirit. They say I don't care what others think of me, that I'm always happy and always smiling. What people don’t realize is that I am the way I am because of past experiences. I am covered with scars physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In the past I have cut and later I almost killed myself. I still have the occasional bad day. I’ve been at the point in a relationship where we’ve talked about marriage and when they found out I was leaving the area they said I wasn’t worth their time. I have serious trust issues and I push people away when they try to get close. During my weeks in India, I was grabbed and dragged into a brothel and two women fought the man that grabbed me so I could run out and rejoin my group I was traveling with. To this day, I am jumpy when someone comes behind me or touches me casually on the shoulder from behind if I am unaware who it is.
Through all of this, there have been people in my
life who have helped me get through the day. I had friends sleep with me at
night to make sure I didn’t hurt myself. I had friends who have proved over and
over again that I am worth their time. I had friends pick me up off the ground
and hold me until my tears have run dry or until I’ve fallen asleep. I’ve had
friends help me become more comfortable in crowds and learn to trust strangers
and not think the worst of them right off the bat. I have friends who tell me
every day that I am beautiful, unique, pretty, spunky, fiery, confident,
passionate, creative, caring, a good listener, loving, adventurous, and fun to
be around. The thing is, I don’t necessarily believe them all the time but I
think that’s ok because I know that it is because of them that I have turned into
these things. I know that without them and their help, I would be dead and
life, any little bit of it, would not be worth living without them. So thank
you my friends for teaching me how to live and carrying me when I momentarily
give up. Thank you for challenging me, slapping me across the face when I need
it, telling me I am wrong, holding me when I let my guard down and just be a
fragile young girl for a moment. Thank you for not giving up on me.
Thank you, Father, for blessing me with these
wonderful people and filling my life up with them throughout my Journey.
I encourage you to recognize those who have helped
you and then go and be that person for someone else.
